Colonoscopy Prep: 6 Ways To Make it Suck Less

Hi, Friends!

I’m willing to bet your day has been exponentially more
fun than mine, although I do consider myself to be a chaser of silver linings and an eternal optimist…so it’s still a tossup.

Also, I am fully aware of how rainbows and unicornsy that sounds, but I’m unapologetically happy most days, and I like that. Meredith and Christina are dark and twisty, and I’m happy and golden.

Today is prep day, and I don’t mean meal prep.

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Colonoscopy at 7am tomorrow at the new (for me) med center with a new doc. New places and people, but same dreaded prep juice.

So I’m talking about things that no one talks about today: Colonoscopies. I fully believe there would be cures nearly available for Crohn’s disease, ulcerative colitis, and a host of other autoimmune diseases if they were easier to talk about. I’m not victim-blaming. It does stuff to your psyche to be vulnerable and open about your bowels. Being real about poop and achy joints and weight fluctuation and j-pouches and ostomys and stomas. ugh. Just tough stuff to talk about…unless you’re in the middle of a store with a “no public restroom” sign and you’re suddenly about to be sick  crap yourself uncontrollably. In that case you drop all your reservations at the door, announce to the store owner that you’re “about to be really sick and it is a medical emergency that you use their private bathroom,” and then you discuss having a “digestive disease” while you check out moments later. G-l-a-m-o-r-o-u-s. P.S. Can you please consider advocating for research while you hand me my receipt, even though I look completely normal like there’s nothing wrong with me at all, except for now you know that I have a digestive disease? Thanks 🙂

^Real life situation, by the way…happened on my honeymoon.

How to make colonoscopies suck less as told by a 20something year old:

1. Be creative. If your prep SUCKS, mix it with cold ginger ale or 7up. Your prep will say something like, “Mix with water.” Believe me, mix it with something carbonated, too. If you normally don’t drink sodas (neither do I), today isn’t a bad day to break that rule.

2. Listen to hype music if it’s your first time to chug prep. Don’t take it all solemn and serious. I suggest “shots” by LMFAO.

3. Ice chips, sometimes blended with a little bit of lime gatorade and fresh-squeezed lime juice isn’t a bad “meal” at all. Eat it with a spoon. mmm.

4. Water. Lots and lots. Just when you think you’ve had enough, maybe have a sip more.

5. Really hot showers. The stuff dreams are made of.

6. Netflix and chill. Enjoy this day for all that it is: a big ole rest day. Wear fuzzy socks.

Hope you’re having a good day, wherever you are!

Tomorrow, I’m going to have the biggest (low FODMAP compliant) taco I’ve ever seen.

Keep moving forward 🙂

-Stacey

Shoutout to Zack, who is the best caregiver a girl could ask for.

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