I’m completely guilty of saying things like, “when I get in better shape” and “when I have abs” and “when I have more money,” etc. that I forget to realize how important it is to be stoked about myself now. NOW. Presently. Today.
I watch a ton of videos of these work out gurus on instagram (disclaimer: watching either from the toilet or the couch), and then I think, “I’m going to do that later.” But I don’t. I allow time pass away from me while I watch these videos, plan my fitness future, and then I forget to do the yogilates plank that I just saw Becky with the good hair re-invent in her colorful, perfect yoga leggings.
Then I realized that I have allowed this “when I grow up” mentality to seep into my daily life and become almost habit-like. “When I run faster”.
I have become so preoccupied with planning my flawless future that I forget how amazeballs today is.
And this dialogue that I have internally- it’s not good. Be kinder to yourself, for gawdsakes, Stacey. I don’t tell my friends, “Hey you look good. But in about three months you’re going to be in the best shape of your life.” I don’t say, “I’m so glad you like your job, but maybe you should strive to make more money and get that promotion.” So why do I say these things to myself? Why do I allow my present happiness to take the back burner for my hypothetical future? That is crazy pants.
It’s good to have goals. I’m a goal-oriented person. But goals are ACTION based, not thought based. You have to be moving and doing to achieve your goals. Sure, planning is important, but then go!
I have been so preoccupied overthinking that I wasn’t running for awhile, and running, as you may have guessed, is a pretty integral party of my life. But yesterday I gave myself a pep-talk. I was thinking, “When I get faster, I’m going to post my times. Oh, but it’s getting dark and I don’t have time to run today, so I guess I’ll go tomorrow. THEN I’ll work on getting faster.” And then I snapped.
“I have twenty minutes of daylight left. My hair is already in a crappy braid. I’m going running.” And that is what I did.
Feeling my feet beneath me on the pavement reminded me of how grateful I am to be moving, now. “These legs have cellulite, but they can get me hella far down the road.” I was pretty positive that I was going to need to be hospitalized a couple weeks ago, and NOW I’m running.
So the point of this post is:
-If you hate running, fine. Do what makes you happy, and do it today. Stop overthinking. Don’t allow overthinking and planning your perfect future to rob you of your today joy.
-If you think “I wish I liked running” or “I used to run, and I liked it,” then go running! I don’t care how crappy your shoes are, how non-existent your running playlist is, or how painful your first time back out there will be. Run! You know what? Walk, too. The best runners will tell you that they have taken plenty of walk breaks. Stop being so tough on yourself.
-Find happiness in your now. Making goals and planning to achieve them are healthy, but find joy in pursuit of your goals, today.
And if watching Becky with the good hair do her crunches somehow in a roundabout way makes you think inadequate thoughts about yourself, stop following her. What a waste of time and energy.
Something yesterday that made me happy about my getting-there journey:
If I need to have an ulcerative colitis poop attack on my
Road to Remix to Remission in the middle of Bed, Bath & Beyond- that’s okay. I’m in the safest place I can possibly be: a tornado shelter.
And you are safe too, wherever you are. And you’re good. And you’re capable. And you’re a bad bitch.
Keep moving forward! Today. Because there’s no time like the present, and today is pretty good.
P.S. I was really honest and real and updated my half-marathon times on my “about” page.